Is Boris Johnson really ill with Covid-19 (SARS-CoV-2) or is MI5 laying down an elaborate smoke screen..?

Yorkshire-Zelda 🇬🇧
4 min readMar 28, 2020

(Disclaimer: — it’s not my intention to ruffle feathers — this is just satire.)

The world was informed yesterday that the British Prime Minister — Boris the bumbling Honey Monster Johnson had contracted the virus…

The odds of it being truthful are about the same as winning the Euro Million lottery.

I suspect it to be a ploy — better thing to do, more important things to worry about…

Perhaps it’s too much trouble getting out of his Parliamentary Pyjamas each day in order to address the nation.

In all fairness — It could become quite tiresome.

Rambling on like a broken record…

“There have been more people infected, more deaths & more fines” — issued to the idiots of our nation — who continue to defy the quarantine.

We know this is going to drag on so it is far better to let Michael Gove handle it— that slithering albino. The whimsical, cardboard cut-out of a man that he is.

Make no mistake about it — Boris is living the good life behind closed doors at Number 10. Fresh Gregg’s pasties delivered every morning along with a cup of tea via a chirpy Delivroo cyclist.

A constant supply of Peruvian flake no doubt flows in smuggled under ‘diplomatic passports’. They have a heavy stock of fine old cognacs at number 10 and many fine young prostitutes on speed-dial.

Blissfully chugging away on his pipe….

His Eton, educated schlong deep throated against Her Majesty’s headboard.

Sitting there comfortably in his velvet Union Jack slippers.

I suspect this is nothing but a savvy PR move to bank the public’s sympathy — ‘Oh no — Boris has got it? — he is one of us now…’ A symbolic gesture to win hearts and minds.

Of course — It is entirely possible that one of the summoned brass had been infected — unable to be vetted due to the lack of nasopharyngeal swabs test kits or perhaps she sneezed onto his publicly funded face.

Oh, Boris — you should have listened to your own advice — Practicing what you preach.

Knowing the virus can spread via faecal matter — you should have washed your shit stained hands for at least 20 seconds…

Necking the hand sanitizer that Brewdog sent down from Aberdeen for you must now seem like a bad idea — I bet you never thought about that when you were ramming your fingers into her tight, pert young ass.

At least she will get up to 80% of her wages — that is of course if Hyperinflation doesn’t bankrupt us all.

Our thoughts are with you dear Boris…

DO GET WELL SOON!… ;)

**This is of course is Satire — I have the upmost respect for my Prime Minister & I do hope he makes a full recovery from the virus as soon as is possible. May God protect him & us all….. (edit:08/04/2020)

Whilst the Pandemic washes over us …

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My thanks to Jimwillpaintit for providing the Illustration. #Jimwillpaintit

Written by C.Blakeborough.

Copyright protected — All rights reserved. ©. 28/03/2020

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Yorkshire-Zelda 🇬🇧

A Photographic, Gonzo Journalist, I Cook, Cycle, Design NFT’s & Adventure. Slava Ukraini! 🇺🇦